Bitlife - When Life Doesn’t Want to Cut You Any Slack

March 1, 2019
Bitlife - When Life Doesn’t Want to Cut You Any Slack
Image source: Google Play store

In BitLife you control the life choices of a person from birth to death. It has simple controls, lots of content and finally we can ruin someone else's life without repercussion, not just our own. It’s a unique mobile game and it plays fast.


When the game starts you have just been born, and you’re told about your parents, where were you born, and the usually hilarious way you were conceived. From then on you click a button to advance time and periodically make decisions on prompts you get.

Besides advancing time and reacting to what the game throws at you, you also have to take care of yourself and your relationships. There are also some differences in what you can expect based on where you were born.


When the game starts you don’t have many options until you get to school, you can go to the doctor for a check-up and chill like the baby you are.

Once you get to school you get some extra options, you can study harder, or you can drop out. You can visit the library or practice meditation. You will have a chance for your first kiss and to go to prom. You can also drop-out if that’s your style.

After you’re done with school, you get a couple of choices. You can continue your education, look for a job or join the military. You can later change professions or go back to school, so you have all the freedom in the world.

At this point in the game, you’re able to do anything you want. Some of the things that fall under “anything” are: traveling, moving, hospital visits (including witchdoctors and alternative medicine), cosmetic surgery, clubbing, lottery, love, hook-ups, threesomes, buying a house, buying a car, working out… You get the idea; there is a lot you can do.

How the tables turn

The game tends to either take a crap on your day or pleasantly surprise you through random events. So let’s say your wife decides to leave you, congrats now you’re a depressed alcoholic.

Some of the random events include but are not limited to: random animal encounters, lunatics, road-rage, alcoholic friends, deaths, company trips, promotions, requests from your offspring or the love of your life (or one of your lovers in case you roll like that). All of these things that can happen usually cause something else to happen as well, you know what they say, when it rains, it pours, and you don’t have an umbrella.

It is also possible for the game to not hate your guts, but I wouldn’t rely on that too much. Out of some 40 lives I’ve played, I had only one where I got scholarships, regular promotions, managed to retire with my wife and live out the rest of my days happily with her and my daughter. For the other 39, there might have been some OD’s, sudden deaths, prison riots and lots of divorces…


Not a lot of negative things to say about the game because the concept is simple and it’s just about the content. Oh, right, that’s the problem. The Android version is short on content. The lack of content is understandable since the iOS version is older. It;s nothing horrible, just something to keep in mind.

The game is surprisingly often focused on war and drugs. I had a playthrough in which I was offered every drug under the Sun. Seriously, chill, I don’t think that an 85-year-old millionaire is interested in angel dust or meth.

The game keeps a record of everything that happens in the backgroun of your life during a year, and some of the things that can occur are wars, surprisingly many wars. At least the combinations of countries going to war and some of the reasons are pretty funny.

Final pet peeve, don’t mix politics into the game. There’s a specific event that can happen, along the lines of “A Trump supporter is assaulting an old lady” and you choose how to react. I saw it only once and I never saw another one like it, but why would you do that? That’s the only event I have seen explicitly naming someone. Don’t get me wrong, I have very little interest in politics, but it wasn’t in the flow of the game, and there’s no need to take potshots like that.


It’s an enjoyable and addictive game. It’s free, and even though the ads are long, they’re well done, you see them between games and if you go to the cinema. The only thing you can buy is a few premium features, and it’s just $2, so it’s a fair deal.

It doesn’t take too much dedication on your side since you characters don’t last that long. Your character will live just enough for you to get invested and not long enough that they become a responsibility.

It gives you a lot of freedom, and there are so many ways to play through a life that it got me to realize that my own life is rather dull. Concerning that, I have decided to go bungee jumping tomorrow and maybe start a riot.

I’d suggest the iOS version of the game at the moment since it has more content, but there is really nothing wrong with the Android version since it’ll get all the missing content soon enough. You should definitely give the game a try.